One little thought is all it takes to put me through this nostalgic roller coaster where I'm back to writing about him again. It's crazy, because the person I want to read this the most will probably never see any of this. I always think that I'm better off, that I've found peace with a long lost love, but I always relapse and drift back to this point. I forget that I do deserve someone who fights for and chooses me. I forget all the bad that transpired. All I can do is remember how good of a person he was to me, how good of a person I became because of him, how perfect we were together, how beautiful our friendship and our silence was, and so forth. He made a choice to be in a new relationship a while ago and so did I. The only difference is he stuck to his choice and I did not. I can't say whether or not it is the right choice; I can only speak for myself.
I heard this song and my whole being stung. I played it over and over again, because I stumbled across yet another song that might as well have been extracted right out of my heart vault. We only scratched the surface of what love could be. And I'm fully aware that it's not a good thing to walk this earth with feelings of regret. However, this song makes everything crystal clear to me, because Almost is Never Enough (Ariana Grande) and I'm always wondering why we didn't choose...differently:
"...'Cause sooner or later, we'll wonder why we gave up/ The truth is, everyone knows/ Almost, almost is never enough/ So close to being in love/ If I would have known that you wanted me, the way I wanted you/ Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms/ And we almost, we almost knew what love was, but almost is never enough..."
I would just rather run away from my own emotions...because it's a terrible feeling to love something so unattainable.
♥ Love,
Sophia Peony
Sophia Peony
